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Thursday, June 17, 2021

Having A Long-Distance Relationship

Since my husband announced that he was coming back from a deployment, my head has been spinning.

I thought to myself, “I can’t ask any of my friends if they’ve got long-distance relationships, because I’m worried they’ll start sounding crazy.” And my sister-in-law — if I can understand her, which I’m not sure I can — said, “Darn right you can.”

I realize now I didn’t know how to ask questions to my husband, which is a terrible problem.

It’s hard to know what to ask someone who is going through a tough situation with their family.

It’s the same with questions of returning to work. I know I’ll probably have to change the question I ask to “How’s work?” or something else that doesn’t ring so judgmental.

I wonder: Do people give me a hard time if I bring up the fact that my husband is coming back?

A lot of people, including my friends, assume “long-distance” is code for “relatively isolated,” but my husband and I aren’t in any sort of isolation. We’re together nine months out of the year. We love our lives together. We have four great kids, so it really is good to be together. It really is just easier for me to talk about how the baby is, or our house is, or my work life.

If I had more time to just myself, my husband would come home and we’d give him a hug and it would feel really special. Instead, every time he comes home we have to start his day because I haven’t shaved yet or done my laundry or got my lunch. I never realized how much pressure that put on him to constantly come home — or how amazing it is that he does, but it just makes it seem really strange when you’re nervous because he’s not actually there to wait on you.

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